Miata List Archive

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Mail From: kbarton150236 ((email redacted))

A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We don't serve your
kind in here". The mushroom replies "Why not? I'm a fun guy".

Keith Barton
99 LP - DelVal

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Mail From: Scot Zediker" <roadsterboy (Scot Zediker)

----- Original Message -----
From: "Jon Etkins" <(email redacted)>
To: <(email redacted)>; "Birney, Kenneth"
<(email redacted)>; "Scot Zediker"
<(email redacted)>
Cc: "Miata (E-mail)" <(email redacted)>; "Michael & Paula Whitehouse"
<(email redacted)>
Sent: Wednesday, April 10, 2002 8:46 AM
Subject: Re: [Miata] a week joke (NMC)


> An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar.
>
> The barman looks up and says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

And on that note...

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman are all sitting at a bar and each
order a pint. By some inexplicable coincidence, each man's pint has a fly
sitting in the head.

The Englishman called the barkeep over to get him a fresh pint. The
Irishman simply flicked the fly out of his beer and drank it as if nothing
was wrong with it. The Scotsman picked up the fly by its wings and began
shaking it, saying, "A'reet ya wee f!?ker, spit it oot!"

Scot

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Mail From: Scot Zediker" <roadsterboy (Scot Zediker)

Rene Descartes is sitting at a bar. The bartender asks him, "Want another
beer?"

Decartes answers, "I think not," and then disappears.

Scot

----- Original Message -----
From: "Wayne Hawn" <(email redacted)>
To: "Miata (E-mail)" <(email redacted)>
Sent: Wednesday, April 10, 2002 9:30 AM
Subject: RE: [Miata] a week joke (NMC)


> A man walks into an antique store and asks "what's new?"
>
> Wayne
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: bradley k lawler [mailto:(email redacted)]
> Sent: Wednesday, April 10, 2002 7:50 AM
> To: Miata (E-mail)
> Subject: Re: [Miata] a week joke (NMC)
>
> Ok one more,
>
> A proud dad takes his son to a bar for his first time on his 21st
birthday.
> The dad is especially proud of his son because he is only a head. He is a
> medical miracle because of this and still being alive. The dad orders the
a
> light beer for him because he doesn't know what the affects of alcohol
will
> do to him. The bartender is gives him the beer and the son drinks it. he
> starts to shake around and out pops a torso. The dad is amazed, he
doesn't
> know what to say. He says how do you feel son, and the son replies I feel
> great. The dad then says take another drink, so the son does and out pops
> two arms. By this time the entire bar is astonished. The dad is in tears
> on his cell phone talking to his wife telling her all about it. Then the
> whole bar starts chanting take another, so he looks at his dad and dad
says
> ya it is ok. So the son dies and out pops two legs. The dad Then helps
> his son up on his feet, and helps him to take his first step. The son
> starts to walk back then forward then back again and starts waking very
fast
> forward again and out the door. They all then hear a screech of tires and
a
> thump. All fearing the worst they run outside to see that his son was hit
> by a car and died. The bar tender then look up and says he should of
> stopped while he was ahead.
>
> Sorry I had to tell that one.
>
> --------------------
> "Women use a television channel changer to watch TV
> and guys use it to watch what's between channels.
> Chip Ganassi- owner of Target Chip Ganassi Racing
>
> _______________________________________________
> Miata mailing list
> (email redacted)
> realbig.com/mailman/listinfo/miata
> _______________________________________________
> Miata mailing list
> (email redacted)
> realbig.com/mailman/listinfo/miata

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Mail From: Scot Zediker" <roadsterboy (Scot Zediker)

----- Original Message -----
From: "Keith Tanner" <(email redacted)>
To: "miata-list.miata.net" <(email redacted)>
Sent: Wednesday, April 10, 2002 11:09 AM
Subject: [Miata] Re: A week joke (NMC)


> So this Buddist monk walks in to a pizza joint and says, "Make me one with
> everything."

So the pizza guy gives him his pizza and says, "That'll be fifteen bucks."
Buddha hands him a twenty, which the pizza guy puts into the register
drawer. The guy closes the register.

"Where's my change?" Budda asks.

The pizza guy replies, "Change must come from within."

Scot

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Mail From: Scot Zediker" <roadsterboy (Scot Zediker)

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and says, "May I have a martini, please?"

The bartender replies, "Sure. Olive or twist?"

Scot

----- Original Message -----
From: "Dave" <(email redacted)>
To: <(email redacted)>
Sent: Wednesday, April 10, 2002 11:31 AM
Subject: RE: [Miata] a week joke (NMC)


> A piece of string walks into a bar ..
>
> The bouncer picks him up and flings him out the door, "We don't serve your
> type".
>
> Trying to fool the bouncer he ties himself into a knot and unravels his
> threads at the ends.
>
> Strolling back into the bar the bouncer stops him and asks "Aren't you
that
> piece of string?"
>
> The string replys "No, I'm a frayed knot"
>
> _______________________________________________
> Miata mailing list
> (email redacted)
> realbig.com/mailman/listinfo/miata

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Mail From: rpearson (Robert Pearson)

That's a great joke, Ken. Too bad you can't come with me tomorrow when I
take a few copies to the Catholic high school where I work. (imagine a skull
& crossbones here).

Bob Pearson
----- Original Message -----
From: "Birney, Kenneth" <(email redacted)>
To: "Birney Ross CO GB (E-mail)" <(email redacted)>; "Miata (E-mail)"
<(email redacted)>
Sent: Wednesday, April 10, 2002 1:46 AM
Subject: [Miata] a week joke (NMC)


>
>
> A priest took a sabbatical to a fishing lodge. On the last day of his Trip
> he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in.
> The guide, holding a net, yelled "Look at the size of that Son of a
Bi*ch!"
> "Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!"
> >"No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is. A Son of a Bi*ch fish!"
> >"Really? Well help me land this Son of a Bi*ch!"
> >Once in the boat, they marveled at the monster.
> >"Father, that is the biggest Son of a Bi*ch I've ever seen."
> >"Yes, it is a big Son of a Bi*ch. What should I do with it?"
> >"Why eat it of course. You've never tasted anything as good as that Son
of
> >a Bi*ch!"
> >Elated, the priest headed home to the church. While unloading his gear,
and
>
> >his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip.
> >"Take a look at this big Son of a Bi*ch I caught!"
> >Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, "Father!"
> >"It's ok Sister. That's what kind of fish it is. A Son of a Bi*ch fish!"
> >"Oh, well then what are you going to do with that big Son of a Bi*ch?"
> >"Why, eat it of course. The guide said nothing compares to the taste of
> >Son of a Bi*ch."
> >The Sister informed the priest that the Pope was scheduled to visit in a
> >few days and that they should fix the Son of a Bi*ch for dinner.
> >I'll even clean the Son of a Bi*ch", she said.
> >As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in.
> >"What are you doing Sister?"
> >"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a Bi*ch for the Pope's dinner."
> >"Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!"
> >"No, no, no. It's called a Son of a Bi*ch fish. Really."
> >"Oh, well in that case I'll fix up a great meal and that Son of a Bi*ch
can
>
> >be the main course! Let me know when you've finished cleaning that Son of
a
>
> >Bi*ch."
> >On the night of the Pope's visit, everything was perfect. The Friar had
> >prepared an excellent meal, there was wine, and the fish was excellent.
> >The Pope said, "This is great fish, where did you get it?"
> >"I caught the Son of a Bi*ch!" proclaimed the proud priest.
> >The Pope's eyes opened wide, but he said nothing.
> >"And I cleaned the Son of a Bi*ch!" exclaimed the sister.
> >The Pope sat silent in disbelief.
> >And the friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a Bi*ch, using a special
> >recipe.
> >The Pope looked at each of them. Slowly a big smile crept across his
> >face.He leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath. He then added
"You
>
> >know, you fu*kers are alright!"
> >
> >:-)
> >
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Miata mailing list
> (email redacted)
> realbig.com/mailman/listinfo/miata

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Mail From: p.manning (P

Three guys walk into a bar...

You'd think at least one of them would have seen it..

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Mail From: Kenneth.Birney (Birney, Kenneth)

i hereby suggest Kieth is banned from the list and from talking to anyone,
anywhere for about a year and a half because of those "jokes" ;-)

-----Original Message-----
From: Keith Tanner [mailto:(email redacted)]
Sent: 10 April 2002 19:10
To: miata-list.miata.net
Subject: [Miata] Re: A week joke (NMC)


So this Buddist monk walks in to a pizza joint and says, "Make me one with
everything."

------------
Keith's page de home:
keith.miata.net
------------

_______________________________________________
Miata mailing list
(email redacted)
realbig.com/mailman/listinfo/miata

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Mail From: whthse (Michael & Paula Whitehouse)

Kenneth, shall I remind you who started this thread? Just look at it as a
part of our education.

Michael and Paula Whitehouse
Cielo, 10AE # 511

----- Original Message -----
From: "Birney, Kenneth" <(email redacted)>
To: "'Keith Tanner'" <(email redacted)>; "Miata (E-mail)" <(email redacted)>
Sent: Thursday, April 11, 2002 1:17 AM
Subject: RE: [Miata] Re: A week joke (NMC)


> i hereby suggest Kieth is banned from the list and from talking to anyone,
> anywhere for about a year and a half because of those "jokes" ;-)
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Keith Tanner [mailto:(email redacted)]
> Sent: 10 April 2002 19:10
> To: miata-list.miata.net
> Subject: [Miata] Re: A week joke (NMC)
>
>
> So this Buddist monk walks in to a pizza joint and says, "Make me one with
> everything."
>
> ------------
> Keith's page de home:
> keith.miata.net
> ------------
>
> _______________________________________________
> Miata mailing list
> (email redacted)
> realbig.com/mailman/listinfo/miata
>
> _______________________________________________
> Miata mailing list
> (email redacted)
> realbig.com/mailman/listinfo/miata
>